It's Time to Sleep, my Love

Tuesday evening and it's just Charlotte and I--Elliot asleep in the other room and Mitch at the church for Youth Night.

We hung out in her room reading books and talking for almost an hour. "Okay Charlotte, it's almost time for bed," I quietly told her. "No! Don't want to," she responded in her newfound bedtime-resistant style. "More books!"

"Okay, we can read one more book, but Mommy gets to choose it this time," I told her feeling clever for avoiding the "First Word" type books that are her favorite (but difficult to cut short).

"Ohhh Charlotte! I know, I have a special nighttime book to read to you," I excitedly told her, remembering the nicer hardback books on the top shelf that I hadn't pulled down in months.

Charlotte snuggled into bed, delighted at the prospect of a "special" book, while I knelt down on the floor next to her bed.

"'It's time to sleep, it's time to sleep.' the fishes croon in waters deep," I began. Charlotte sat mesmerized as I read each page, pointing out the different animals, speaking in a hushed lyrical voice. Every so often I reached over to touch her cheek or stroke her hair softly.

I turned to the last page and began reading, "And as you dream inside your sleep,the fishes crooning in the deep..." and looked over at Charlotte only to see her big brown eyes beginning to turn puffy and red. And I watched as she struggled to keep the little corners of her mouth from turning down and completely trembling. My heart nearly burnt a hole in my chest and the air was so thick--filled to the brim with the sensitive tender-hearted feelings of a sweet soulful child.

I pulled her into my arms asking if she was sad. She wouldn't tell me, but leaned back towards me as we finished the page, "...and all the songbirds up above will sleep and dream of you, my love, of you, the one I love."

We turned to the final page, past the copyright information and author's dedication, and I read aloud: "You are loved."

I pulled Charlotte around in my arms and looked her in the eyes, "You are loved, Charlotte. Do you know who loves you? Mommy loves you. And Daddy loves you. Nana loves you and Grandpa loves you. Grandma loves you and Grandpa loves you. And Leila loves you and Savannah loves you. And so does Elliot."

"And do you know who loves you most of all? Heavenly Father loves you and Jesus loves you too. Very very much."

I kissed her soft cheek and tucked her her into bed. And remembered how worth it all this is...